99.97% of North Koreans turned out in the Country’s Election, while 0.03% Executed

Pyongyang, North Korea: North Korea state media reported that 99.97% of its eligible voters turned out in the country’s local election to vote the one and only candidate – its supreme leader Kim Jong Un.

There was only one name in the ballot paper, and voters did not have to mark anything on it, they were simply required to pick it up and drop it in the ballot box.

Local election in 2011, produced similar almost-perfect approval rate, correct to two decimal places.

The regime required that all eligible men and women to cast their votes in the country’s most prestigious and exemplary democracy system.

So what happened to the remaining 0.03% voters (about 5,000 individuals) who failed to vote?

Well, North Korea just rounded them up and had them executed.

“The fact that so many people turned out to vote is absolutely incredible,” said Chinese international and political analyst Chow Lee, “but on the other hand, the sudden annihilation of five thousand men, women and children tarnished it a bit”.

Those North Koreans who had the opportunity to protest in the social media before their execution lambasted their supreme leader for being fat and ugly. One patron said “Who gives a damn fuck about that ugly fat bastard?!“. Another North Korean said “I don’t give a single damn fuck because he is so fat and mentally-retarded” BE News was informed.

The state owned news agency publicly condemned those who failed to vote, before insisting they all wait outside their homes to be collected by the local military police.

Mass graves were then dug, before the 0.03% were executed at midnight last night, Malaysian time.

“Hopefully next election we will have a 100% turn out,” a Central News Agency reader signed off, following the deaths.


(This is a satirical news. Find out what it means here)

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